Tesladyne: Every Formation's a Rectangular Thingy

[tesla_bot]

The bunker has a pair of generators and a pile of gear in one of the corners. The whole arrangement is fenced off with yellow caution tape and blast shields. One of the downsides of making your own way to Milliways is that you have to keep making your own way. The rest of the space is full of other support gear: paramedics, radio operators, stocks of food and water and plenty of video feeds. Most of those cameras seem attached to be on balloons or something else flying given the way they look down at the woods, but a few others target larger clearings and trails.

"Sorry about the lack of space," says Robo, "This was the best place in the area to get through. You mind waiting while I give the trainees one last talk before I bring you out?"

Comments

[basic_powers]

"Go for it. We're playing Zombie Princess right?"

...Yes he's eager to get this game underway.

[tesla_bot]

There are few pleasures in life like training newbs. It's for their own good really.

Moving on.

"Yeah, but keep in mind that if you run to long we'll all be coming back in the dark."

Robo heads out through a low steel door and up to convince the crowd of trainees to pay attention.

"I have a special treat for all of you today," he begins with, "A challenge to help keep you on your toes."

"Come on! How hard could it be?"

Tyler may recall the voice of Clarkson, he of the clipboard.

[basic_powers]

...For the record, he is NOT snickering quietly.

Though corn-row girl is giving Captain 'Zombieman' Clarkson of the S.S. Clipboard a bit of a dope slap. "Don't taunt Murphy!"

[tesla_bot]

"Some of you might recall Tyler from the obstacle course."

"Why did you way that? Why?" Hammond isn't taking this with complete calm, alas.

"The rest of you get to meet him now!"

[basic_powers]

Tyler jogs out of the tent now smiling at the assembled group, only 14 of which are giving him looks of dread.

"Heya."

[tesla_bot]

"What's the big deal?"

"...He's not on my team. Somebody else get to deal with that fallout."

"Anyway, what we're going to be doing here is a nice simple retrieve the target operation with only the lightest of twists.

"Oh hell."

"You have fifteen minutes to find Tyler here. After that, he's trying to find you."

[basic_powers]

"Those of you who know me from the obstacle course, I didn't bring any of my little friends along for this." Tyler announces, grinning like an idiot.


"...what little friends?" And it's Mr. What-is-the-big-deal stiking again.

"First time to find me in the fifteen minutes is an automatic win. After that, team that captures me and brings me back to base wins."

[tesla_bot]

A dozen of the trainees give a big sigh at the announcement. It has to be worth something that they're just after him and not the freaking shoggoths too. Right?

"I want four teams," says Robo, "And those of you who've met Tyler before? You I want spread out as evenly as possible. Alright?

[basic_powers]

"Sure thing." Sort of like the obstacle course again, except the grouping off is deliberately putting Clarkson with the guy who said 'what is the big deal'.

"I'll run into the grounds and light the bottle rockets when I'm ready to start." Tyler calls back, jogging into the forest.

[tesla_bot]

"I hate you. Just want to make that clear," come Clarkson's voice before Tyler moves out of ear shot.

The grounds are temperate forest, with the fairly thick undergrowth that signals that there's been a lack of forest fires in the last few years. Given that there have been Action Scientists dragging themselves over the area there also isn't much by way of wildlife. Birds are plentiful though and so are the smaller, more daring, land creatures.

And apparently soggy lowlands. Good thing Tyler wasn't running flat out.

[basic_powers]

Fairly thick undergrowth means moving carefully to not leave a trail, which kind of goes to pot when the kid hits the soggy wet lowlands because that just means leaving tracks...

Okay if he's going to be leaving tracks, he might as well make them confusing as ALL HELL right now. And it's a good while before he finds just what he'd like for a place to wait to be found. A big old tree.

Now, he's got some climbing gear, his usual utility belt and a pump paintball gun with plenty of ammo, and just in case, his gauntlet. Gear stashed, it's a quick bit of fiddling to get the flare-gun set up, tiny keypad and all but soon rockets burst out from under the trees into the sky.

GO!!

[tesla_bot]

At the rocket's launch birds scatter. Less from the rocket and more from the way the trainees are plowing through the undergrowth. Ah well, subtly is a completely different course.

Which means there are some folks going flat out when they come to the soggy bits. Some people just won't learn the easy way.

Not that all the teams are headed quite that way if the birds being startled are any indication. At least one team seems to think the rocket has been launched as part of a ploy to mislead.

[basic_powers]

And THEY would be the smart ones, and if Tyler were able to watch, he'd be betting money on that team having the three who won the obstacle course challenge being in that group. Meanwhile, he's bunkering up in the tree branches to watch the wildlife and see where the birds are leaving from.

[tesla_bot]

Birds and the sound of people interacting with nature.

"Have I mentioned how much I hate nature? Because I do. With a passion!"
THWACK
"And stop hitting me!"

So that's one group (with Clarkson) going straight along the paths that Tyler's left in the soggy parts hoping to get lucky and two around the edges looking for points where Tyler might have left, one in each direction of circulation.

The fourth team ia being quiet or they're only going where the other three have passed for now.

[basic_powers]

Yeah, if Clarkson's group can make sense of those mixed up and criss-crossed paths, they will deserve beer and pizza. So there's THREE groups he can track right now by the movement of the birds and their noises...

But they're all taking too long as Tyler pulls his gear back on, counting down the seconds until their timers go off.

[tesla_bot]

Three.
Two.
One.

...Where is the theme for Jaws coming from?

Oh, one of Clarkson's teammates has it as the alarm noise on her iPhone.

[basic_powers]

"......oooh gawd." Clarkson cries out dismayed, turning to stare openly at this particular teammate as everyone catches the giggling from far off. "I'm surrounded by crazy people!"

"What is the BIG deal about this kid, seriously he's like half our size and-" -phoont! -splut!!--

Stupid Newb doesn't get to finish that sentance. Well. He could finish it, but he just got a faceful of paint-soaked sponge to the face.

[tesla_bot]

"Mphragrh!"

Meanwhile Clarkson is diving for the bushes. Say what you will about his mouth, but his reflexes are pretty sharp.

"Take cover you idiots? Take cover and shoot back!"

Return fire starts, but it's pretty ragged. Figure they have a compass direction, more or less, but nothing more accurate than that.

[basic_powers]

That...okay, he's not going to ADMIT it, but that's pretty decent, given that he's got to hide behind a tree and prime that pump-action paintball gun.


There's going to be a burst from behind the tree, a grey-blue, short and fast moving little blur, who actually manages to get three shots out before he gets behind a particularly thick bit of bushes.

Paff! Paff! Paff! Jaws theme, Captain Clipboard, and Koi Tattoogirl! Yeerrrrrr OUT!

[tesla_bot]

The other five fall back to different clumps of bushes trying for a better angle.

"I am going to go get a beer and then I shall watch from the cameras and laugh," announces Clarkson as he wipes at his face, "Come on! Who wants to stop early? I can shoot you too!"

Fiff

That's... well that's Clarkson being shot again actually. Might be a good time for Tyler to move along too.

[basic_powers]

Oh yes, he'll be moving along...in juuust a bit. As the other five move for a better angle...They'll find Tyler isn't in that clump of bushes now.

He WAS there. And he might be nearby.

Piff! Piff! Yeh, definitely nearby, it's hard to tell where those two shots came from.

"...I'm out!" "Same here, what is this kid, a Chuck Norris clone?"

[tesla_bot]

Chuck has nothing on what you can pick up in the kinds of situations where Tyler's been. Almost enough to make you feel sorry for the new guys.

The last three have put themselves in a triangle and are moving out quickly anyway. They're even taking they're best guess for Tyler's new location and trying to put their 'dead' comrades in the way.

The real problem for Tyler coming up is deciding which of the two groups coming towards him to target first. The two groups circling the perimeter having been drawn to the fighting.

[basic_powers]

...Let's see now. Which team had Mr. Jake Tentacle-Porn on it again?

Though it looks like Hammond and the two remaining full newbs just started in on the group that got a little too close.

"Jeeeeezus! Hammond, you nutwad!"

Well. That makes up HIS mind, he's going to go after Jake and his crew of eight, sneaking underneath the bushes.

...With the mini air cannon he packed in his backpack. What happens when you fill the entire cannon with a hopper of paintballs and point it at a closely packed group of nine?

[tesla_bot]

The answer to that can now be determined experimentally. Apparently the answer is 'paisley paint patterns over plenty of people'.

It's not total coverage and the remaining four are doing their own version. Jake was missed and has taking the initiative of 'looting' a dead teammate for a second gun. Double the volume of fire, something like a third the accuracy.

[basic_powers]

YAUGH, time to move!

Tyler's just going to be beating a hasty retreat into the bushes now. Looks like Jake's plan of 'newbs as an abalative meatsheild' worked for him.

piff!

Except for that headshot just now.

"I'm sorry, but your brain is in another castle!"