Tesladyne: Every Day's an Adventure!

[tesla_bot]

The door that opens is a free standing frame on a small plywood dais at the focus of a tremendous amount of cabling and particle emitters. The whole area smells of ozone.

Tesladyne's high energy physics department (Advanced Topology Division) is marked by a school of design that thinks things should be able to be cleaned with a pressure washer - painted cinder block, tiles floors, scorch resistant counters, wire reinforced glass and plenty of drains. Decorations lean towards lolcats, and mock safety signs saying 'Do not look at laser with remaining eye'.

There's a calendar open to December 2010 and a clock that says it's about 10.

"Right it's still morning," says Robo, "Watch your step, it was easier to raise the door three inches than to cut down all the equipment by that much."

Comments

[tesla_bot]

"Fourteen right now," says Robo, "I try and keep the groups fairly small."

The blind has a recliner with a double rank of LCD monitors in an arc in front of it. To one side, the snacks; to the the other, a lighting board and a stereo.

"I'm going to get a guy in to run the lights. Phil is pretty cool most stuff."

Mostly, Phil is going to miss the chair.

[basic_powers]

With that number in mind, Tyler opens up a pouch on his belt loop and counts out 14 discs, running them under something..Oh hey, once they're run under that freaky game-boy thingie they start putting out a little radio signal.

NICE.

"Here ya go, find a way to hide one on each trainee where they can't remove it." Tyler says, settling into the recliner and looking over the ranks of LCD monitors with a grin. Nice view, and here's the first test of the tentacles grabbing all at once...

...put your witty dialogue here.

[tesla_bot]

"Evard's Affectionate Tentacles?" says a new voice.

"Get in here! Phil this is Tyler, he's running the extras. Tyler, Phil."

Phil is in his early twenties with messy hair and a company t-shirt .

"Hey."

"Someone get the fresh meat and tell them it's time for a practical!"

[basic_powers]

"Hi Phil, I'm running the 'monsters' you're gonna be running the effects, right?"

[tesla_bot]

"Lights and smoke mostly," says Phil, "Plus a couple of sound effects."

Phil eyes Tyler for a moment. These 'outside consultants' get younger every time.

"Everyone is going to be able to breathe after this, right?"

[basic_powers]

"Yup, the stuff I'm using'll let em breath just fine inside of it." Tyler says, running the tentacles through their paces once more.

After a moment he eyes Phil back.

"No one's going to need a trip to the hospital unless they crack wise about my age."

[tesla_bot]

Phil is the picture of exaggerated innocence. "I didn't say a thing!"

A beat.

"But, uh, you wouldn't be willing to show up afterward and help illustrate who was behind their running would you."

A look at the tentacles again.

"That and the screaming."

[basic_powers]

"Definitely. And you haven't even seen the really nasty stuff yet." Tyler grins and points towards the camera that watches the start of the course. "Wait and watch."

[tesla_bot]

A few other people have, near the beginning of the track, piled a whole bunch of boots. One pair for each trainee. The tracers are in each left boot, under the insole.

"Let's move people!" yells Robo, "Time spent changing your shoes is time that counts against your group!"

Robo is herding by yelling. It's a tried and true technique. The small muddle begins yelling shoe sizes at each other and tossing footwear back and forth.

"Nobody runs until everyone is ready!"

[basic_powers]

With that, Tyler starts watching the screen with the focus of a hawk studying a field.





"...five dollars and a cola say that blue-vest is going to be the first one to wet their pants."

[tesla_bot]

Phil hasn't looked up from his last touch ups to the controls.

"Oh you're on."

With the shoes straightened out and the group roughly lined up near the starting line, everyone outside is waiting for Robo's signal to start.

Whenever you're ready Tyler.

[basic_powers]

Select-> Remote Egg Activation

Activating

->Egg1 Double Shoggoth
Egg2 Double Shoggoth
Egg3 Double Shoggoth

Executing....


There should be a word for what happens when two glowing masses of ever-shifting eyeballs and tentacles, each size of a volkswagen bug appear behind you. Because they're going to need new cusswords after this.

"GLRRLBLBLRRRAAAWWRRRBBLRRAWWRRR!"

[tesla_bot]

The first attempt is a collective, "Eeee!" Faint cursing also makes an appearance.

Phil has, helpfully, cut the general lighting a few notches and added a strobe in the UV range.

"Run my pretties!"

Climbing wall next.

[basic_powers]

Yes! Yes! The Climbing wall! Shoggoths don't climb well do they?

...oh. They do. More motivation to climb faster!

And waiting above the climbing wall...the first tentacle lurks, waving back and forth lazily.

[tesla_bot]

"...I cleared that from the history," comes plaintively from a poor fellow in a baseball cap on spotting the tentacle.

He's going to get plenty of space now from the rest of the class, alas.

More interesting is the guy with the clipboard trying to fight the tentacle off long enough to get the rest of the people past.

"How is he even still carrying a clipboard?" asks Robo, "Clarkson! Where were you carrying that?"

[basic_powers]

Plenty of space also means no one else gets wrapped up when one of the shoggoths catches up to Mr. Tentacle Fetish. Bet being devoured by an amorphus volkwagen of hate was never something that crossed his mind.

Now Clarkson Clipboard warrior has been doing fair battle so far...the tentacle withdraws back...and then lashes out grabbing him by the hands holding onto the clipboard. Then Clarkson disappears out of sight with the rest of the tentacle screaming.

Better move it people!

[tesla_bot]

Clarkson's sacrifice has moved the remaining dozen onto a bridge of swinging tires. Surely the holes will just drop those terrible blobs through...

"And smoke now, I think," adds Phil.

Or slow everyone down in mist. That could happen too.

[basic_powers]

"...think I should start up the screaming mimis?" Tyler asks quietly as the blobs try to bridge the swinging tires...and fall below. Where their glowing shapes can be seen lurking below the mist watching those in the tires.

Wait. Save for that one that ate TentacleFetish. That ones staying on the bridge.

So why are there...three...blobs...oh shit.

[tesla_bot]

Attempt the second: "They're breeding! Faster!"

"Why not," says Phil, "The floor's padded anyway."

Have to hurry. The spacing of holes is regular, so the trainees are compensating fairly well.

[basic_powers]

Up until now, the only noises in here have been the growls of the shoggoths, and the sounds of nervous panicking humans.

All that changes a second after Tyler activates Egg4: Screaming Mimi Duo.

Imagine if someone gave a head of cabbage, a mouth, nine ropey tentacles, and colored it black. The doppeler noise that starts as a low wail and moves into a full blown 'middle of the monkeycage' screech fills the area with noise.

And half-seen but definitely felt and heard things darting past people's legs and faces.

[tesla_bot]

Phil takes a moment to add a low volume, but audible, rendition of the Jaws theme.

"Mommy!"

The group breaks and heads straight for the pipe maze and, in a panic, doesn't even try anything clever like climbing around the outside.

Whoops!

[basic_powers]

Whoops indeed. Tyler's got a tentcle waiting on the inside there. First one to get picked off there is corn-row girl, who screams very well as she's yanked upwards to the top of the pipe-maze. And second to get picked off in the darkness is Mr. I-wear-capris, as he tries to escape harassment by the shoggoth that ate Tentacleman and a screaming mimi.

And man....you thought the shoggoth's method of movement was weird BEFORE eating someone...

Well. Let's just say Fetishman is probably going to want to sit out the next exercise if he gets seasick easily.

[tesla_bot]

The lab is on an island, so there's been some filtering.

"Everyone be calm! How hard can it - umphrg!"

"And that's why you don't tempt Murphy, Hammond."

Or shoggoths. Ah well. The remainder, all seven, have managed to clear the maze in one group of three and one group of four.

The group of three has a series of stepping platforms over a ball pit.

The group four has a chainlink fence to climb. On the same level as the three shoggoths under the bridge.

[basic_powers]

One of those three shoggoths have fed recently. You can tell by the shape struggling inside of it as it moves along like Fetishman's shoggoth. Which has two victims inside of it now. Poor Hammond, he didn't deserve it, but he asked for it when he tempted Murphy's wrath. All four shoggoths are now after the group of four. For two of them, the chain links don't matter. They can pass right through them. The other two start climbing.

The group of three at the stepping platforms have probably noticed the tentacle attempting to lash out and grab them. HIT THE DECK! The end is in sight!

[tesla_bot]

The group of three eye the tentacles and the platforms warily. Those things have REACH. The plan appears to be to have two of them take the hits and try and get one of them to safety. Before a gray and lurching Clarkson stumbles up behind them anyway. There's a bit of a scuffle and they'll have to hope that one sacrifice will do for the tentacled god.

The quartet is not quite so well organized and just goes for a mad scramble.

"Well, they're moving faster today, that's for sure," says Phil, "A little more mist in the ball pit. For atmosphere."